Lesson learned

For those that have known me over the last year and one half there is one truth that can be spoken, A LOT has changed in the last year. Now, I know there are some that would take this at face value and this is what this post is about. This goes much deeper than what you can see.

The last year has had its share of ups and downs. I have felt financial pressure like I haven't experienced in the last decade (that is how long I have been in NC). I have been completely changed and challenged spiritually having been saved in March of last year. I have been tested emotionally and blah blah blah.... I could go on here but you should get the point.

The real lesson has kept itself hidden right up until about 5 minutes ago. My small group is getting ready to take a break, maybe for good, and I was thinking about what may be our last meeting. Then *Bam* I get this idea in my head that almost knocks me to the floor. I will give you the end result of this idea first and we will work our way back to it.

"God is all I need"

God gave me this lesson and I will tell you how I know that. I got an idea so big it filled my heart and I couldn't speak it back to myself. Talk about trying to follow greatness. How do you take the thoughts and words of God and make them your own? And, yeah that is an awesome feeling, in case you were wondering.

This last year has shown me a new side of myself. I used to be so caught up in the "ME" before. I was so focused on the new car and the big house and the 6 figure jobs. I wanted success and things that made me seem so great to everyone around me. I wanted to buy happiness. The worst part is I convinced myself that as long as I didn't look down on people that didn't want the same things I wasn't being a jerk and these materialistic qualities were fine.

Over the last year I have faced all the struggles that I mentioned early and yet I never once went without. We always had food, we always had the power on, we always had everything we needed and a bunch of stuff we didn't. We always had each other and God put all these things in my life. He didn't give me a 64 inch plasma or a PS3, instead He put a whole new bunch of people in my life that didn't care if I drove the best car or had the biggest house. They saw something else in me, something bigger, and luckily I started to see the same thing.

I don't want the biggest salary any more. I don't care about having a new car. I don't get to buy everything I come across and it doesn't bother me. I want different things these days. I want to minister to other people so they can have a powerful and meaningful relationship with Jesus. I want to be a better father and a better husband. I want stronger friendships and relationships. I want more things for others than I do for myself. I want to be able to affect peoples lives in a positive and impactful way and the lesson I have been taught in all of this.... God is all I need.

He hasn't let me go without, even during the hardest of times. God has let me stand on him when I needed and let me fall when the time was right. He has done all of this so I would know that He is all I need; and I get it now. I have been given the gift of caring about others and not just caring about what others think. During all of this I haven't needed anything but God. He has placed everything in my life that I had to have during this rebuilding and I know this now looking back.

Thank you to my small group for being there during this time. I love all of you soo much. Your being in my life for the last year has been a blessing and I mean that with all of my heart. You have been more for me then I could tell you, even when you didn't know it. I would also like to say an extra special thank you to Kirsten. Your time has been my gift and I love you! You never gave up on me even when I was at my best being against you and I will have a place in my heart for you for all of my life.

Finally I would like to thank my wife, not because it is what you are supposed to do at the end of something like this. She has always supported me no matter what I wanted to do and no matter how crazy it seemed at the time. She has always believed in me and honestly believed that I could do anything and everything if I wanted it and made me a better person every single step of the way. If you don't have a person like her in your life I feel a great deal of sadness for you!

I will end this with one final thought. Lean on God when you need Him and when you don't. He uses every single opportunity in your life, good and bad, to build you to more than you thought possible..... just ask anyone that knew me a year ago.

So I'm thinking.......

I was watching Joel Osteen this weekend (by the way it is a lot easier to listen to him then it is to watch, he is too animated and I lose his message sometimes watching his frozen smile and constant blinking) and he was talking about expectations. He said something along the lines of 'God meets you at your expectations'. The whole idea behind this is if you expect to have a crappy day God is going to meet you there. If you expect your day to be filled with greatness God is going to meet you there instead.

If you expect God to raise the bar while your just hanging on it that isn't going to happen. You need to push the bar up with Him and once you start to push it up He will take over and help you raise the bar higher than you could imagine. (By the way, that is my analogy so if you think it sucks don't blame Joel.... but if you think it is money make sure to give credit where credit is due..... I give God all the credit I get by the way....)

So I get to thinking.... Think about all the miserable, and I mean completely miserable people in and around your life, What do they have in common? They all expect life to suck on some level. Or they are bitter and filled with anger most of the time. Or they go right to the negative answer and see the worst that can happen in most situations. These people usually have some animosity toward people that truly enjoy life. But at the end of the day they all really have a common thread, they don't really manage their own expectations. They almost look forward to bad things happening so they can say stuff like 'Knew that was coming' or 'Just my luck'. C'mon blog readers, you know who I'm talking about.

So I start to ask myself some questions that I wanted to share with you today.

• What do you expect from your days?
• Do you dwell on the negative of the day or do you see the proverbial silver lining?
• Here is a tough one... What do you think God would want for you that day?
• Here is an even tougher one... Do you expect God to do for you if you don't do for yourself?

Side note: I know a lot of you that have known me for a long time aren't really sure where all this "God talk" is coming from but for the record:

1. I was baptised as a Christian adult in 07
2. I attend church every weekend
3. I volunteer for aforementioned church every weekend
4. I am a member of the best small group (bible study group for all you Catholics) in the world
5. This is the best thing that has happened to me so far in my life and this isn't a fad or a phase and I'm not part of a cult that kills baby kittens or anything weird. God grabbed my heart one day last year and I'm on board all the way with this thing.
6. I even read the bible - true story.
7. For those of you that knew me when I was a dedicated agnostic - All I can say is not all change is bad, trust me on this.

Anyway....

Here is what I usually get out of my day. I get up, I go to work, I come home, I go to bed; you know like rinse and repeat. I have to believe that there is more than this. I can't think that this mundane living is what I'm called to do.

So here it is. NO MORE. (for my friends to the south, NO MAS) From this point forward, I expect more from my day. I expect more from myself and this is really going to suck for some of you but I expect more from you too! Don't tell me that you give all of yourself everyday.... I don't and if you can be honest you don't either. Think of the potential that can be unleashed if we thought about what our life could be and actually acted to make that thought real. What if we thought about what the day could bring instead of waiting for the day to happen? What could happen if we all pushed ourselves to not only want more but to EXPECT it? I know you can do better for yourself then 'Just my luck'. I know I can.

Begin each day as if it were on purpose. Lets just try for the next year to live our lives the best we can and expect the best for ourselves and the people we influence. Raise your expectations higher than you thought you could and God will be there waiting.....

I'll let the pictures do the talking