If you could......

If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
The first thing that came to my mind was "Do I make you proud?"

This probably reveals a pretty self centered nature but it seemed like a valid question. If I make God proud I must be doing ok....

What would your question be?

WOW!

Has it really been that long since I've posted my menial and trivial thoughts to the internet.

I'm a slacker and to all both of you that read this, I promise to do better.

Obama for President....

And I don't know why. This guy makes me believe in his policies and ideals and I don't even know what they are. I don't think if asked I could give you an educated idea of what he stands for.... besides change of course. I'm almost positive this guy could read the menu at Applebee's and I would sit a listen attentively.

The weird part is I like John McCain. Not this guy that has been riding around in this campaign, the other one. You know the McCain that is a little nutty and doesn't spend all his time pandering for votes. Just plain old John "What you see is all there is and all your going to get" McCain.

Anyway. Good luck Obama! I will be cheering for you..... and if anyone can tell me why, I will be that much happier.

Lesson learned

For those that have known me over the last year and one half there is one truth that can be spoken, A LOT has changed in the last year. Now, I know there are some that would take this at face value and this is what this post is about. This goes much deeper than what you can see.

The last year has had its share of ups and downs. I have felt financial pressure like I haven't experienced in the last decade (that is how long I have been in NC). I have been completely changed and challenged spiritually having been saved in March of last year. I have been tested emotionally and blah blah blah.... I could go on here but you should get the point.

The real lesson has kept itself hidden right up until about 5 minutes ago. My small group is getting ready to take a break, maybe for good, and I was thinking about what may be our last meeting. Then *Bam* I get this idea in my head that almost knocks me to the floor. I will give you the end result of this idea first and we will work our way back to it.

"God is all I need"

God gave me this lesson and I will tell you how I know that. I got an idea so big it filled my heart and I couldn't speak it back to myself. Talk about trying to follow greatness. How do you take the thoughts and words of God and make them your own? And, yeah that is an awesome feeling, in case you were wondering.

This last year has shown me a new side of myself. I used to be so caught up in the "ME" before. I was so focused on the new car and the big house and the 6 figure jobs. I wanted success and things that made me seem so great to everyone around me. I wanted to buy happiness. The worst part is I convinced myself that as long as I didn't look down on people that didn't want the same things I wasn't being a jerk and these materialistic qualities were fine.

Over the last year I have faced all the struggles that I mentioned early and yet I never once went without. We always had food, we always had the power on, we always had everything we needed and a bunch of stuff we didn't. We always had each other and God put all these things in my life. He didn't give me a 64 inch plasma or a PS3, instead He put a whole new bunch of people in my life that didn't care if I drove the best car or had the biggest house. They saw something else in me, something bigger, and luckily I started to see the same thing.

I don't want the biggest salary any more. I don't care about having a new car. I don't get to buy everything I come across and it doesn't bother me. I want different things these days. I want to minister to other people so they can have a powerful and meaningful relationship with Jesus. I want to be a better father and a better husband. I want stronger friendships and relationships. I want more things for others than I do for myself. I want to be able to affect peoples lives in a positive and impactful way and the lesson I have been taught in all of this.... God is all I need.

He hasn't let me go without, even during the hardest of times. God has let me stand on him when I needed and let me fall when the time was right. He has done all of this so I would know that He is all I need; and I get it now. I have been given the gift of caring about others and not just caring about what others think. During all of this I haven't needed anything but God. He has placed everything in my life that I had to have during this rebuilding and I know this now looking back.

Thank you to my small group for being there during this time. I love all of you soo much. Your being in my life for the last year has been a blessing and I mean that with all of my heart. You have been more for me then I could tell you, even when you didn't know it. I would also like to say an extra special thank you to Kirsten. Your time has been my gift and I love you! You never gave up on me even when I was at my best being against you and I will have a place in my heart for you for all of my life.

Finally I would like to thank my wife, not because it is what you are supposed to do at the end of something like this. She has always supported me no matter what I wanted to do and no matter how crazy it seemed at the time. She has always believed in me and honestly believed that I could do anything and everything if I wanted it and made me a better person every single step of the way. If you don't have a person like her in your life I feel a great deal of sadness for you!

I will end this with one final thought. Lean on God when you need Him and when you don't. He uses every single opportunity in your life, good and bad, to build you to more than you thought possible..... just ask anyone that knew me a year ago.

Mike's Ministry? Pastor Laffey?

That is right boys and girls, I am looking at pursuing a life in ministry. Before the phone calls and emails come drilling in let me lay it out. I'm not quitting my job to join an underground seminary school. I am currently talking to people in my life that I trust about what I believe is a calling from God for my life. (yeah.... I got that one hit on me first thing in the morning on a Wednesday.)

I keep waiting for all the people that knew me 2 years ago when I was a proud atheist / agnostic and to tell me that I'm nuts but NONE of them have. I can't tell if they are being polite or don't want to chance that this really is a calling from God and don't want to answer to Him if they screw it up! ;) I'm looking for any advice or opinions from the people that read this.

And for my few select friends that haven't been to church and loath the idea of religion I already know the stupid answer from you so save it or I will start posting on the net all the embarrassing things I know about you and you know I am a master of Internet traffic if I need to be.

Anyway - I'm really just dropping this out looking for information. Hit me with as much as you would like. Email is 511keyes@gmail.com.

All right boys and girls, I'm tapping out for now. Talk to you soon.

My new favorite quote

Whatever It Takes
That's What I Do

My cell phone analogy

So this story is kinda long but so what, shut up and read.
I'm driving home from work last week and I see one of those bumper stickers that has that "Know Jesus, Know Peace - No Jesus, No Peace" stuff on it. I kinda laugh because, as the people in my small group will tell you, since I have known Jesus I haven't known much peace. As a matter of good hard fact, this last year of my life has been one of the hardest on recent record. So I kinda scoff at the notion of knowing peace. (just as a sidebar, I'm not discouraged by this lack of peace, I have faith that whatever God is doing with my life is building me for better things.)

I meet with a friend of mine for lunch today (non christian) and I share my little pitty party of a revelation with him. I will script out the remainder of this so you can follow, most of this is paraphrased because I don't remember it verbatim:

Friend "That is because there isn't a God and you are waiting for him to do something in your life instead of doing for yourself"

Me "I'm not waiting for s###, and how are you so sure there is no God"

F "C'mon, really dude. Don't start that"

M "Do you have a cell phone?"

F "Yes"

M "Does it take pictures?"

F "Your point?"

M "How does that work? You know when you open your phone and hit the little button what happens? How does that 'picture' get from that little lens on the front to that screen on the back? If it broke do you know enough about it to fix it?"

F "No"

M "But it happens anyway! Even though with all of your wisdom and everything that you have taken it upon yourself to learn and be an expert with that stupid little phone can still take pictures even though you can't explain it"

This was met with a conversation that quickly devolved into foul language so I will spare you the rest.

My point is this, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it impossible or improbable. I am willing to bet that 100% of the people reading this couldn't explain how the words I type get sent off through space to the Internet for all the world to read. But none the less, here it is for you to read.

Some of you may say, "Yeah but I can read about that and learn how it works and maybe even how to recreate it". My response when asked why I believe in God is the same. I can read about him and how he works and maybe if I'm good enough even how to recreate what he did. I'm not there yet but I'm working on it. And I'm not going to spend all my time trying to figure out how everything works just so I can use it. I'd rather spend my time loving everything that God has left for us to find.......

Today's thought

You ever felt like you had so much to say but couldn't get it all out. Usually what you end up with is a big pile of nothing. I'm thinking this is one of those days for me but lets see. I had to go up to NY to witness one of the most painful things I have had to see in a while. I had to watch while my baby brother help move his wife and children out of his house!! Let that sink in and stir around in your head for a little bit and you'd be amazed how blessed you can feel compared to some.

My heart breaks for him because he is mostly alone up there mostly because I feel sometimes like we abandoned him when we all moved to NC to try to improve our lives. My heart really breaks because although he isn't the best husband ever born to this earth he is one of the best fathers I've ever known. People say that all the time but many times the remarks are unfounded. His girls mean everything to him and that feeling is amplified now that he feels he is 'losing them'.

I love my brother and not because you are supposed to love your brother. He is a great kid. Sometimes he is misguided and doesn't make good decisions but over all he has a big heart and I just love him. I've never said so to him but of everything I had to leave behind in NY 10 years ago when I moved, he was by FAR the hardest. This feeling has never left me. I feel the most complete when I am together with him and my sister. Like something is back together that has been pulled apart and is so right when its together. We are so good together and I feel like the space between us has been good on one had because personally I am in such a better place here then up in NY but I also get the feeling when we visit each other that we have been cheated of something special by being apart.

Especially for me. I always felt like a father figure (not a good one by the way) for my family since my parents divorced when I was 9. So I feel like when we are together I am better for them.

Now I know I took my brothers awful situation and made it all about me but let my brother get a blog if want's people to read his story. ;)

I guess the bottom line is I feel guilty for not being able to do more but more importantly not being able to be more for my kid brother. I trust someday God will reveal his plan for our family and hopefully all the struggles he has given us along the way were preparing us for something great. Either way I trust him to do the right thing with us. He hasn't let us down yet and I'm pretty sure I won't live to see that happen.

Tell people you love them every chance you get. It never hurts.

Tom Petty????????

Shouldn't the punishment fit the crime? We have had what, 5 years of real crappy halftime shows now for a .0000483 second flash of a pretty ugly boobie.

Haven't we as football fans paid the price for our sins???

What is next...... Ross doing paintings at halftime!!!! (paint a pretty halftime show where there isn't one right nest to this big mountain)

Think about this, every guy playing on stage @ halftime 08' has already had a full on prostate exam... think about it... but not for 2 long.

Tom Petty?????????????

Why is it easier?

Why is it so easy to inspire or lead others and so hard to do the same for yourself. I'm not bragging here..... but I have some really good ideas.... for other people. I can't come up with one for myself though. I can look externally at someone else's life and break down what they should do to improve their situation and give all kinds of good advice.... to other people. I just have a problem looking at myself the same way. It almost seems like I need to turn myself into other people.

For some reason I can't see the things in my life that need improvement and I can't really change much. Like this.... I'm driving down the street (this is gross) and I'm picking my nose, not like a real angry picking, just a mild scratching of the inside and I look over at the guy next to me and I think to myself "That's disgusting" while I'm doing the same thing.

What is that?? Oh well. I'm off to ponder this for a bit. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Email me or leave a comment if you feel the same thing or have an idea about how this effects you and how you deal with it...

So I'm thinking.......

I was watching Joel Osteen this weekend (by the way it is a lot easier to listen to him then it is to watch, he is too animated and I lose his message sometimes watching his frozen smile and constant blinking) and he was talking about expectations. He said something along the lines of 'God meets you at your expectations'. The whole idea behind this is if you expect to have a crappy day God is going to meet you there. If you expect your day to be filled with greatness God is going to meet you there instead.

If you expect God to raise the bar while your just hanging on it that isn't going to happen. You need to push the bar up with Him and once you start to push it up He will take over and help you raise the bar higher than you could imagine. (By the way, that is my analogy so if you think it sucks don't blame Joel.... but if you think it is money make sure to give credit where credit is due..... I give God all the credit I get by the way....)

So I get to thinking.... Think about all the miserable, and I mean completely miserable people in and around your life, What do they have in common? They all expect life to suck on some level. Or they are bitter and filled with anger most of the time. Or they go right to the negative answer and see the worst that can happen in most situations. These people usually have some animosity toward people that truly enjoy life. But at the end of the day they all really have a common thread, they don't really manage their own expectations. They almost look forward to bad things happening so they can say stuff like 'Knew that was coming' or 'Just my luck'. C'mon blog readers, you know who I'm talking about.

So I start to ask myself some questions that I wanted to share with you today.

• What do you expect from your days?
• Do you dwell on the negative of the day or do you see the proverbial silver lining?
• Here is a tough one... What do you think God would want for you that day?
• Here is an even tougher one... Do you expect God to do for you if you don't do for yourself?

Side note: I know a lot of you that have known me for a long time aren't really sure where all this "God talk" is coming from but for the record:

1. I was baptised as a Christian adult in 07
2. I attend church every weekend
3. I volunteer for aforementioned church every weekend
4. I am a member of the best small group (bible study group for all you Catholics) in the world
5. This is the best thing that has happened to me so far in my life and this isn't a fad or a phase and I'm not part of a cult that kills baby kittens or anything weird. God grabbed my heart one day last year and I'm on board all the way with this thing.
6. I even read the bible - true story.
7. For those of you that knew me when I was a dedicated agnostic - All I can say is not all change is bad, trust me on this.

Anyway....

Here is what I usually get out of my day. I get up, I go to work, I come home, I go to bed; you know like rinse and repeat. I have to believe that there is more than this. I can't think that this mundane living is what I'm called to do.

So here it is. NO MORE. (for my friends to the south, NO MAS) From this point forward, I expect more from my day. I expect more from myself and this is really going to suck for some of you but I expect more from you too! Don't tell me that you give all of yourself everyday.... I don't and if you can be honest you don't either. Think of the potential that can be unleashed if we thought about what our life could be and actually acted to make that thought real. What if we thought about what the day could bring instead of waiting for the day to happen? What could happen if we all pushed ourselves to not only want more but to EXPECT it? I know you can do better for yourself then 'Just my luck'. I know I can.

Begin each day as if it were on purpose. Lets just try for the next year to live our lives the best we can and expect the best for ourselves and the people we influence. Raise your expectations higher than you thought you could and God will be there waiting.....

You really need to try this.....

I just spent the night with a great group of people that I genuinely love. So what do you need to try? We sit around in a room and take turns pointing out the positive things we see in each other. It is incredibly uncomfortable at first. We are conditioned as people to accept the negative much easier than the positive. When you have people telling you what strengths they see in you and some go as far as telling you they wish they had in them what they see in you it is an amazing experience.

First, you get this feeling like, "Wow, I would really love to know this guy they are talking about". Then you go through this transformation internally that is hard to describe. You let your guard down. Now I know what your thinking, why would your guard be up if people are professing their favorite things about you? Good question..... I don't have the answer. But something happens inside where you let go of your fear of feeling good about yourself (isn't that sad) and you open up and you almost have a sense of pride come over you because people see things in you that blesses and encourages them.

If you have never experienced this little exercises, I recommend it, highly.

oh, by the way:
quan·ti·fy
1. to determine, indicate, or express the quantity of.

I'll let the pictures do the talking

You missed it!

OK, for those of you reading this that don't know, I go to the best church ever and have the best small group ever - I think that is like trying to convince one parent that your kid is the best kid in the world - But I really do so deal with it.

God has placed these people in my life and me in theirs. I'm not sure why I deserve this group but I have them. And after today's sermon I don't need to ask why for very long, only what. What can I take with me that can make me a better person. What will I learn that will impact the people around me and what can I teach that might show someone what I'm talking about. Wow.. that might have been too deep for a 2nd blog post.

I have to add a very special thank you to my wife. I'm not sure why you tolerate me but I'm glad you keep drinking the kool-aid. Love you, no really, I Love You!

Anyway, thank you to my group for being my group and thank you to our God for being our God. I'm not deserving of either.

P.S. To all my Catholics in the room..... Peace be with you!

Happy Flippin New Year

Lets face it, last year sucked, most of the time last year does. That is why it is last year. All the way back then. So long ago. History.

We always reflect on the worst that happened and the worst we were. Honestly, give me the first memory from last year that pops in your head...... Crappy wasn't it???

If you can have one New Years resolution you can stick to (good luck with that gym membership, I have extras if you need them) Don't vote REPUBLICAN. Just kidding..... Live by one simple philosophy.

Make tomorrow a better day than today.

Think of the possibilities of what is errrr... ahh... possible....... You know what I mean. Human nature is to be pesimistic. Use it against itself. If yesterday sucked.... today could be better right???

Sorry, I'm rambling and I think someone might have pee'd in my jello shooter - or these are urine flavored..... Either way, I've had to many to care.

Happy new year! I'm hoping this year is better for you than last year! (couldn't hurt to try)

Love ya, Mean it!

Laff